I only lasted 2 days.  Oops.

I heard about Screen Free Week through a post on Jeff Utecht’s U Tech Tips. The idea is to abstain from using any screen except for must-do work tasks.  Apparently the event happens once a year.   Because I am someone who struggles with work-life-web balance, it seemed like an inspired idea.  No Twitter.  No reading non-work blogs. No personal email (except for emergencies, in which case, wouldn’t phone call would be better anyway?). No random web surfing. No wasted hours in front of the idiot box.

For a week.  I will try.   See you after April 27th.  Thanks, Jeff!

^{Cartoon credit: http://www.iconoclastbooks.com/images/tv_turn_off2.jpg}

Early Release May 2.  Counting down!  My colleagues and I have been stuffing, cramming, double-booking, and overlapping all of April and May’s activities into one month, so I’ve been more busy than usual with end-of-year ceremonies, testing, etc.  Oh, yes, and we’re still trying to teach.  There will be a Staff Development day on the 25th on which we all can start packing up our rooms so they are clean by May 9–that’s when the contractors come to demolish and remodel parts of our building.  So, my blog here is necessarily a second or fifth priority. But stay tuned anyway–maybe I’ll have more time when my day job slows down!  Ahem, that is, in exactly 14 more teaching days.  Not to rub it in. 

21st Century Learning Facilitator’s Institute. I’m really looking forward to going to this training by Oracle Education Foundation’s Think.com in Chicago the day after I finish my teacher work days. I plan to learn as much as possible so I will be qualified to present and facilitate more effectively at conferences and at school, but especially to be an official instructor the next time Oracle holds an institute — hopefully they’ll invite me to one overseas!  While I’m in Chicago I’ll have the opportunity to see some family, too.

Teaching and Technology Conference. I’ll have a chance to practice my facilitator skills in early June in Bismarck, North Dakota.  I’m eagerly anticipating my chance to see David Warlick there as he is the keynote speaker.  My little session is just one hour but the conference would be worth attending whether I got to present or not.

Technology in Education – Colorado.  This may not happen (for me) in late June as my librarian and I had hoped.  Our building has seemingly re-directed the conference funding to Response-to-Intervention and Positive Behavior Support.

Summer School.  I’ve accepted a position teaching at a nearby Performing Arts and Sciences middle school during the month of July.  We’ll work with struggling, at-risk, and incoming middle schoolers.  You might have already guessed that.  I am excited about teaching in a different building for a few weeks and getting to know some new students.  About half the attendees will actually attend my home school next August so we will have a chance to bond a little.  That’s always good.  Plus, I’ll be teaching Reading, which I haven’t had a chance to do for a couple of years; a bonus.

Vancouver.  My birth mother and step-father live in beautiful Vancouver and have invited me to come up for a few days in August. The closest I’ve been is to Victoria, B.C.  Vancouver itself should be wonderful. More on that later.  Here’s a link their neighborhood, West Vancouver. 

I hope I’ll be back here to this blog before all of the above is over.  But I’ll take this chance to wish everyone Happy Spring! and Enjoy Your Summer!

Besides, I’m betting every one of you teachers out there has taught for days with no voice. You’ve been there. However, I’ve never before taken a final presentation in an adult ed foreign-language course with no voice. It’s been an adventure to be sure. The worst part of this past week may have been falling all the way down the stairs with my laptop in hand. Thankfully, my nose is purple (yet unbroken) and the laptop suffered no ill effects at all. I am one clumsy, dorky, lucky lady.

But seriously, after the last few exhausting weeks I needed some good news. And the Big Guy was kind enough to deliver. (Why am I always so impatient and lacking faith in these matters?!) My dreams of professional growth opportunities inside and out of my own school, district, and city may finally be coming true bit by bit. I’m honestly not being snarky or sarcastic here; I am telling it like it is and thrilled to share some good news.

This shift could mean my online network might begin to overlap with my real-world network, something I despaired of ever witnessing. (And by the way, what’s with that term, “real world”? My online world is just as real, isn’t yours?)

First, I was asked to help pilot my District’s first official foray into the world of blogs, wikis, podcasts, and online collaboration for students. I’ve been studying, blogging, researching, and trying this stuff for a couple of years in my own classroom but none of it was recognized or sanctioned by my District. It’s been hard to find ways to do Web 2.0 without violating any of my District’s User Agreements, neither in the spirit or the letter of the law. Just this year a few District-level people got permission for a few adults to try PBWiki, but not students. Apparently there is someone new up at the Central Office, and although these new initiatives are coming through the Library/Media Department rather than the Technology Department, I say that’s just fine. I want it to come via content areas, not via the geeks. (I can say that since I’m both.) This new leader is willing to try a limited Sharepoint version of blogging, wikis, etc. One lucky teacher per school gets to spearhead the program and provide feedback. If things go well, i.e. the higher-ups feel it’s safe and contributes to better test scores learning (sorry, it’s that time of year) they will allow the program to grow. This might be a sleepy little piece of news where you come from, but where I come from it’s REVOLUTIONARY! I can’t say how encouraged I feel.

Second, I will be one of the fortunate four from my school attending a District-sponsored event about 21st Century Learning, Global Skills, and the like. Again, finally some official recognition of some things I’ve been trying to do for a few years with no administrative or peer support. What a relief. It was that bad, and now there’s good coming, and I couldn’t be more grateful. Now don’t mistake me. The people who are arranging these events don’t appear to have any idea who I am, nor would they care if they did know me–so I’ve not been picked because I’m a star or great example of 21st Century teaching–but that’s not what matters. It doesn’t matter if the change is bottom-up or top-down; it’s all good! It would be exciting if these people had some connectedness with the worldwide edublogosphere but I am not seeing that yet. Besides, perhaps I am misinformed.

Third, I was invited to attend a train-the-trainers event with the Oracle Education Foundation in Chicago the day after my school closes for summer. This is also about spreading the word on 21st Century Skills, Global Collaboration, etc. I participated an Oracle 21st Century Institute last fall for a few months–now I can become qualified to be a facilitator for future similar Institutes. Some of those Institutes might involve overseas travel — something I love. You can’t get much better than that kind of offer, especially since I get to keep my day job.

Fourth, I may have an opportunity to do some online graduate teaching, something I tried to pursue a couple of years ago but which didn’t manifest. Maybe this will be my time, maybe not, but I’m grateful for another shot at it.

So soldier on, comrades, you never know what’s around the corner!

_{Photo credits: http://www.worth1000.com/entries/195000/195315UAdy_w.jpg and http://www.ahyap.com/blog/images/pig-fly.gif}

Sometimes I feel I’m getting too old for this. There were two fights this week in my hallway (one involving some blood) and all four boys are in the SAME class together: mine. Oh bother! as Pooh would say. I’ll just have to try to keep them apart on the seating chart.

I must say, it was strangely gratifying to work with a little boy, one on one, tenderly care for his wounds, help him quit hyperventilating (he was literally trembling with rage and fear), and stem the tide of blood streaming from his little nose. Maybe it’s the mother in me. Maybe that’s because my little boy, the one I single-parented for two decades, is now twenty-one, grown, married, and shortly shipping out. Maybe it’s because we’ll live in separate states for the first time since he was born. Maybe I miss him…. But I digress in the extreme. I really do think that puny, impulsive, and sweet 12-year-old felt better because of my ministrations. Thank God that I was on my plan time and could leave my classroom. And thank God that fights are normally rare on our campus.

One of the fighting boys is 15 years old and in 7th grade. His story is fascinating in a sad way–he just got out of two years in prison and was raised in the gang life from birth in another state. He has essentially lived as an adult since he was very young. He’s moved here to a foster family because he’s really trying to go straight. I very much admire his efforts and he’s doing quite well, considering. But it’s extremely hard for him to follow our rules, as you can imagine. He’s dangerous and I’m not fooling myself about that. But even though he’s one of our most difficult ‘cases,’ I’m reminded that this group of kids (the ones struggling against all odds to get a better life) is one of the reasons I like the work. Most of the time. Sometimes. The rest of the time it’s the geekery and the gadgetry that keep me interested. Laughter.

All that being said, believe or not, most of my classes look to be far less difficult behavior-wise than last quarter. It was the worst on record. It seemed that only about 10% of them wanted to learn. Okay, I admit that I was less than thrilled to teach them some days, too. I am hopeful that this quarter will be better. I am grateful. Onward and upward!

The rest of this post will contain some insights , as well as nuggets of extreme transparency which may surprise some of you. Emotion alert! Stop reading now if that annoys you. It’s not like you haven’t heard me rant before…

I’ve had some aha! moments this Christmas as I’ve tried to figure out why I was so burnt out, negative, and cranky during the 2nd quarter. It’s very unlike me to dread my job and dislike the kids. Several days I woke up thinking that if I had to battle the behavior problems and technology roadblocks one more day I’d have to quit my particular job and/or teaching altogether. This has rarely happened to me in the past 13 years of teaching. I’ve got 15 years or so left before retirement and I sometimes wonder if I can make it that far at this grueling pace (60+ hours a week); even when I’m enjoying the job and the kids this takes its toll. So I’ve been soul-searching for the reasons I’ve been so discontent, physically spent,and spiritually adrift.

Part of my malaise the past couple of months is that we are teaching an extra hour every day–exhausting! I hope it will be worth it when we get out on May 1 (so they can remodel our building all summer). I can see light at the end of this tunnel … four months to go. Next year should be more “normal.”

Also very notable, I’ve let my fitness regime slide into nowhere so I’m feeling fatigued and lumpy rather than strong and energetic as I did when I was working out almost daily. Plus doing a lot of cycling. Now I haven’t been on the mountain or road bike for about 2 months. Even the Cycling Club at my school has quit riding for the winter and only meets about club business. We discount the impact physical movement or lack thereof plays in our workaholic lives, especially those of us who spend a great deal of time at the computer and on our mobile devices. No wonder my back hurts, I’m exhausted, and my weight is slowly inching upward. Duh. I do miss the ability to get outside and I regret having to get up at 4:30 am to fit in workouts. Occupational hazard, I’m afraid. I hope I can be more disciplined about that and focus on the benefits I’ll reap rather than whining about the cold weather keeping me indoors…or the fact that we go to work in the dark and leave in the dark…or my fatigue in the evenings…blah, blah, blah. My workouts being sporadic certainly played a part in lowering my quality of life. Why not make the gym a non-negotiable item on the calendar again? Workaholism never makes me a better person.

Finally, I’m thinking that a huge part of the terrible morale and lingering sadness in my school community was that some of our former students, one of whom still has a sister attending here, were involved in a fatal multiple murder-suicide shooting in early November. Right here in our own little town! Unspeakable. Sad. Painful. I was alone and lonesome already at a conference several states away when this happened. Somehow experiencing it all via internet news, social networks, email, and phone calls was especially disconcerting. I wrote about this briefly in the past.

So I think we were all out of sorts, worried and a little depressed after that–kids and grownups alike. We are still reliving the trauma every time we hold fundraisers for the survivor, candlelight vigils, etc. When the news stations actually played the 911 call on air it just stirred everything up again. Horrific and unnecessary!

I’ve determined that somewhere in all the uproar I must have decided I wasn’t going to love my students so much — losing a couple of them hurt more than I’d like to admit — but I was unaware of this ill-conceived choice I’d made. I was surprised at the depth of my sorrow for these kids since I haven’t done a good job of keeping up with them when they moved on to high school. It’s not like I’m some kind of saintly, generous mentor to them once they leave my buildings. God knows I’m too selfish for that most of the time. But I discovered that each of the kids have a little special place in my heart, including the ones who were shot. Therefore I must grieve like everyone else and yet move on without worrying about the future.

So I’m starting to believe the reason I couldn’t appreciate my present students as much as usual was that I was pushing them away and protecting myself. (Who’s supposed to be the grownup here?) This was all unconscious until about a week ago. Perhaps it is strange to others but it’s starting to make sense to me. I resolve to not recoil from (appropriate) relationships with my students. If we didn’t care for children we couldn’t do this job! This semester I want to make my classroom a place of solace and acceptance, not a cold lab characterized by my bristly reserve or unrealistic demands. And furthermore, I want to be uplifting to my friends, family, and colleagues, not disgruntled, complaining, and gossipy.

So what does that have to do with the rest of the edublogosphere? Nothing, except that I want to apologize if my negativity, exhaustion and lethargy spilled into my comments, tweets, and blog posts this past fall. Maybe you can understand my reasons, however superficial they may seem.

I was overwhelmed. I was feeling incompetent, discouraged and too numb to fight the good fight regarding professional or personal growth. I’ve tried so many things to stretch and challenge myself career-wise in the past couple of years and none of them have blossomed into new or long-term opportunities. I was very frustrated. I am tired of turning somersaults, negotiating, asking special permission, and generally beating my head against a wall trying to bring my practice into the 21st Century within the very restrictive confines of the seriously Learning 1.0 environment I teach in. Many of you are quite familiar with that struggle and have remained positive or steadfast anyway. You are my heroes, inspirations, and role models! Thank you!

Now that I am a little refreshed, refueled and restored I look forward to a new year with more optimism. I’ve signed up for some tech classes, gathered up my evidence for renewing my state license, I’m working on getting an increment raise, and I’m committed to learning some conversational Italian with a friend who has graciously agreed to travel to Italy with me some time in 2008 or 2009. I’m committed to having a life outside of work and the web so I can remain enthusiastic about this profession. Wish me luck!

Before too much time gets away from me and I get caught up in a new semester’s worth of joys, concerns and administrative tasks, I will try to follow this post with some reflections on other things I tried in my classroom last fall.

All the best to you and your family in 2008!

I’ve been feeling both excited by and yet almost resentful of the amazing things I read about in so many blogs, on Twitter, and the like. Part of me feels I have to be super-involved in the online community and edublogosphere if I’m going to stay current and authentic professionally. I know I’m inexperienced in that world and have lots to learn about it. I see the potential of all the cool tools people blog about. However, I also find myself wondering how these amazing educators can possibly do so many great things, develop their talents, and still have lives offline, given all the conferences they lead, Tweets they post, uStreams they watch, Skype calls they make, blog posts they write, etc. (It probably just seems like they are online 24/7 because I think they actually do have families, churches, and friends.) Some of these folks are no longer in the classroom, so that explains their time usage a bit… Please know that I’m not criticizing anyone here; I’m just forced to take note of what I’ve observed and then determine whether I want to spend more and more time online to keep up with all that, or pull back and live a little more in the F2F world. Which skills do I want to develop? Who do I want to become? What’s most important?

All the past few years’ time in front of the screen has started to make me (1) fatter LOL ; (2) feel like I’m constantly working; and (3) dissatisfied with my tiny little tech job. On the first count, it’s obvious I ought to take a couple of hours from the computer and transfer it to the elliptical. On the second point, I’ve already said web doesn’t equal work, it’s just my way of managing it that’s starting to feel like it.

And finally, on the third count, I’ve known for a few years that I have a great field and I want to expand in it. But struggling to incorporate so many of the awesome Web 2.0 things I read about is just that–a struggle. I can only do many of them if I run a virtual guantlet to figure out how to ethically and professionally “beat the system” (internet filters, budgets, time constraints). Pushing, hard work, effort, and challenges are all good things. But should it be sucking the life out of me and making me dissatisfied where there’s no reason to be? Teaching is exhausting enough without the added pressure to innovate weekly. I need to put the job and the internet back in their proper perspective.

A few years ago I was a participant in and leading several building-level teams when I realized that although much of that work was valuable on many levels, it wasn’t actually making me a better person or a better teacher. So I resigned most of them and went about putting my attentions back onto my small sphere of influence: my classroom and my friends & family. I feel that same way now. I think it’s time to shift priorities and put my energy and focus back again on what will give the most payoff to me, my loved ones, and my students. Isn’t it interesting that I found this today on the Fifty-Something Women blog (but I’m 45). Sounds like too many of us:

Researchers at Stanford University Medical Center are saying that Internet-addiction is a more widespread problem than people may think. They say that 1 in 8 Americans shows at least one sign of problematic Internet use.

They also pointed out that it isn’t just pornography and gambling sites that people are addicted to but other sites as well. They cite computer users’ strong drive to check email, shop online, visit web sites and chat rooms and write on their blogs as other signs of possible compulsive behavior.

Scary. (No one in my life has ever called me addictive or compulsive, she says sarcastically.) So I’ve deleted my Twitter account and unsubscribed to about half my blog feeds this morning already. I’ll be meditating on what should be deleted next. I’m not going to quit trying new things in my classroom, nor am I going to swear off the internet. I’m just going to. slow. it. down. I’m sure you understand.

^{Photo credit: http://www.berkeleyhort.com/roses/_photos/Prunning_GlovesShears.jpg}

_{Teachers Should Blog, Tweet and Flirt Online Like the Rest of Us}

_{Fired! EFL teacher loses his job after employer finds out about his blog.}

_{Florida teacher may lose job over MySpace}

_{Thinking about Audience Matters}

_{Marquette Dental Student Suspended Over Blog Posts}

_{Students, officials locking horns over blogs}

What exactly should educators share or not share publicly on a blog? Are any opinions okay or only some? Are any comments about their personal lives okay or only a few? To what standard should educators be held in their online expressions? Are there different standards for elementary and secondary educators? What is prudent? What is paranoia? What do you think about anonymous bloggers?

What exactly should students divulge on a blog? Would it matter whether it was a school-sponsored blog or personal blog? Are the “rules” about sharing opinions or personal lives different for students? How much is safe to share online? How much is wise to share online? Should student blogs always be anonymous? What about transparency? Are we supposed to connect online with students in any way? How? In which formats?

More on these topics to come (including links to the articles). Your preliminary comments are most welcome. Join the discussion!

_{Photo credit: http://www.costumeshopper.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/56274.jpg}

One of the units in the class I’m taking discusses the knowledge revolution; namely a move from an industrial, commodities-based environment to a more global and innovation-based environment. To summarize, our students are growing up in a world where intellectual property and the ability to manage information will be far more valued that any ability to manufacture a physical product or memorize facts. This change should be driving a change in education; students should be learning new skills for uncovering, using, and creating with information and fostering global connections/awareness rather than merely learning to read, write, and regurgitate facts or processes. They need new skills like deliberately cultivating a strong work ethic, developing cultural sensitivities, being open to a multitude of categorization modes and being more intellectually creative. (Refer to Daniel Pink’s A Whole New Mind and David Weinberger’s Everything is Miscellaneous.) Old fashioned teaching and learning are not inherently useless or bad, but fall well short of what a 21st Century student will need for success in their adult environment. None of the above statements will be new or surprising to those of us who hang out in the edublogosphere — I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir.

Having said that, I’ve decided that one huge thing bothering me about this new way of doing education is the trend toward completely student-centered teaching and learning. I believe in constructivism, being a facilitator rather than an expert, and being a co-learner with the students, etc. However, I think today’s more affluent children may be getting a bit too much of the message that it’s “all about me.” This seems to be especially true in American middle and upper-class schools and homes — I imagine it could be true in many other Western countries, but I won’t speak for them. Too many adults (even the less affluent ones) are bending over backwards to make the children happy, coddled, comfortable and well-adjusted consumers rather than resourceful, flexible, strong and generous citizens of the world. (rant removed) I hope that students are learning to be other-centered where appropriate. I hope that it’s not heresy to acknowledge that teachers cannot possibly individualize every experience for every child/group; nor will their future employers even attempt to do so. I worry that I see so many adults doing, working, rescuing, thinking, and accepting consequences on the children’s behalf — I don’t believe that produces a better 21st Century adult.

Now bear with me as I veer slightly in another direction. I absolutely love children, I’m a patriot, I’m a gadget geek and a zealous technology proponent, but I cringe when I hear the mother or father of a 14-year-old insist that, “What?! It’s perfectly fine for my child to stay up all night with his junk food, his iPod, his PS3, his laptop, and his cell phone!” rather than ensure that the teen is eating a healthy diet, studying hard and sleeping enough. (Maybe because we adults do the same things?) That’s just one example of 21st Century technology gone wrong. But it’s not really my point.

It seems to be more and more prevalent among today’s parents that the child is always right, the child’s desires come first, and the child shall not be made uncomfortable in any way. I’m concerned that some of the less-privileged societies might be absolutely right about greedy, soft, lazy Americans. Honestly, I’m worried that I might be one of those, too, despite my best efforts. Do I have any ground to stand on when, yes, I have chosen to have fewer toys and a smaller home than most of my contemporaries, but I have about 100 times more luxuries than 99% of the world? _{How can I open my mouth when I actually own an SUV?} That’s another post altogether….

Finally, I feel strongly that the obsession with high-stakes testing preparation is molding American education far more than global or technological change is. It seems to me that our schools are leaning dangerously toward full-time test prep rather than thoughtfully considering how children learn, what they should learn, and how important standardized test scores will be in their ability to make a living in the next 20-50 years. I admit that some of this malaise is generated by NCLB hoops and my state’s political climate. And I do not pretend to have the answers to these big questions; I just don’t feel comfortable with where we’re going in American education. I’m curious to hear from educators in countries where the high-stakes test can make or break a child’s chances to get into high school or college. How do you hitch the need to prepare them for the tests to the same yoke as the need prepare them for working in the 21st Century global economy?

Of course I am generalizing, ranting, and exaggerating willy-nilly in this post to make my points, but many of you’ve seen the trends yourselves, have you not? I wonder how educators around the globe have experienced the knowledge revolution in the past decade or two? How does it look from your viewpoint? Comment on, my friends.

I’m also mentoring two new teachers, teaching six classes of middle school technology, running a club, and trying desperately to get back in to the gym on a regular basis. So bear with me and I’ll get back to some reflection soon.

I’m thrilled to report that in the past two months my son got his high school diploma, got married, and joined the Navy. Whew! It ’s been a wonderful, crazy ride. And a difficult season for mom — time to let go of him again — ouch!  But I am so proud of that young man.